Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Sinking Ship

I miss my tree from vacation. I really need him (I'm going to call it a him) and his calming effect today.

Yesterday when I arrived home after my 50-mile-one-way commute from my paying job, after being gone for about 10 days, and where nothing ever happens except this: crickets chirping, and where all of a sudden every project I've ever worked on was due tomorrow (which is today and I don't work today), and where nobody has access to the internet because, well, just because, and I suffer huge internet withdrawals after only ten minutes away from it, after aaaaaaallllll that, I pull up to the house and glance over at the boat for some strange reason. (I can't usually explain most things I do.)

This boat, on which there are ten thousand years of payments left, is not maintained properly, but sits in the boathouse waiting for someone to take care of her. She's been waiting since the pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock. (Boats are female, you know; and trees are male. I don't make up these rules but I do try and abide by them.)

The stern of the boat was sitting waaaaaayyyyyy too low in the water for my comfort. I left a message for help to hurry home so I didn't have to call 911 for myself after a stroke. Help said they'd bail her out in the morning. Morning arrives, Help is not bailing. I go out, lift the engine cover off the floor and notice that a body of water the size of Lake Erie has submerged every possible part that would otherwise be attributed to a boat engine.

My blood pressure soared to all new heights. The veins in my temples throbbed and pounded. They screamed for relief. I put one hand on my chest and held the other one up skyward, screaming that this was The Big One, Elizabeth. Realizing my children do still need their mother (at least I'm assuming so), I decided to calm myself down.

The best and quickest way to do that is to focus on my tree from vacation.

I am calmer now, but there is still this much water left to bail out: the Indian Ocean.

I have a few assignments to complete today, courtesy of mental p mamma (www.thementalpausechronicles.blogspot.com) and grandma j (askgrandmaj.blogspot.com).

I will attempt to get that done right after I save this sinking ship.

Oh, and also that boat.


Mental P Mama said...

Oh my. For some reason, my bad mood today doesn't seem so bad. Good luck. If I were there I would help. Really.

cats said...

I hope your boat doesn't sink. That really sucks on your day off to be faced with this disaster. I'm sure your dear old dad will help you, if no one else will.
Good luck with that.
It kinda looks like next Tuesday or Thursday for B.G. Let me know if that is okay with you.

Grandma J said...

Oh no. How can that be? Hopefully your boat comes out of this with minimal damage.

The thing about taking a vacation from work is the punishment they bestow on you when you come back.

Internet withdrawals? The ONLY thing I dread when I go on my cruise. Actually I have withdrawals just leaving the room to go potty.

kaffy said...

Wow. That is an incredible picture of your tree. I can see why you miss him. The picture screams serenity now. Aaah. Sorry about your boat! I hope Help comes and makes it all better.

auds at barking mad said...

He does indeed look like a nice calming tree. I might come back and borrow him from time to time (if that's alright with you) because my two-year old is bent on destroying my sanity, bit by bit.

Or if I get desperate, can I buy a seat on your sinking ship and go down with it? Anything, and I mean ANYTHING at this point seems more serene, even a sinking ship, than the noise my one little two year old is making with a paper towel dowel and her tiny little mouth. Forget air horns, I'm just going to rent her and her paper towel dowel out at NFL games!

Seriously, I hope you get the ship sorted soon. Living where do we, we've seen so many lobster boats start to take on water in the harbor and it looks like a horrendous task trying to bail it out and then deal with the aftermath.

foolery said...

I am not religious in any proper sense of the word, but I think some items come into your life with the sole purpose of throwing themselves under the proverbial train for you. I think your boat has done this. It is a scapegoat for anything that needs fixing and anyone who needs bashing about the gills. It has sacrificed itself to your cause. Honor its sacrifice. Sink that boat, say a prayer and move on, unburdened.

Of course, this could be the smoke talking. I'm quite delirious and half mad. Please disregard all my mixed metaphors and utter twaddle.


tj said...

...Holy moly CBW, I'm thinkin' you should just grab a bottle of wine, go sit in that tree and call it a day! lol...

...And yeah, what is it with trees being male and boats are female? Could it be that trees are wood and have nuts much like the human male species? And boats are sleek, buoyant and fun much like the female human species? Hmm? I know what you're thinkin, "where on earth does she come up with this stuff?!" Seriously, you write it and I just respond. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it... ;o)

...I love that photo and I hope the boat (and you) are gonna be okay... :o)


Anonymous said...

Hooray me - I get the Sanford & Son reference!!!!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

mpm - I told you that you were not alone in your bad mood today. And I am still working on my assignment but may not get it out right away.

cats - I think I've bailed enough out of there to keep her afloat, but it ain't pretty. b.g. next week is fine.

gj - I actually agree about the withdrawals, but I was trying to mask the depth of my internet addiction...also I haven't forgotten about your assignment, hope to have it done in next few days (have to work tomorrow and it's storming here tonight - not sure if I'll be saving the boat or waiting to be electrocuted by staying on this computer much longer).

kathy - Thanks. I have tons of vacation pictures and they're all serene...a state of mind I am definitely not at present.

auds - I know the feeling about being around young children. Mine are older now, but those days are still fresh in my mind. Might I suggest a glass of wine to help ease the task of keeping your sanity. I fall back on this one every now and then...

foolery - I can always rely on you to be profound. Your twaddle is brilliant. (That sounds weird, so I am going to move on.)

tj - The wine is looking better and better. Boat still isn't bailed out entirely. And of course we are now experiencing a thunderstorm. And I wholeheartedly agree with your reasoning on the male/female thing!

Soup - THANK GOODNESS. Someone who remembers Sanford and Son. I still watch it, even today. I love TV Land.


Bear Naked said...

Have you noticed a dark black cloud over your head lately?
Remember that cartoon character from a long time, blglpyxxz or something like that?
He always had a bad luck cloud over him.
Hoping sunshine and good luck starts coming your way real soon.

Bear((( )))

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

bn - Thank you so much. Yes, dark storm clouds seem to follow me everywhere but that just means one thing....at some point the sun will shine.

And then I'll be overtaken by ants.

Bear Naked said...

Thanks for coming over to my blog.
Just for you.

The Swing by Robert Louis Stevenson.

How do you like to go up in a swing,
Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
Ever a child can do!

Up in the air and over the wall,
Till I can see so wide,
River and trees and cattle and all
Over the countryside--

Till I look down on the garden green,
Down on the roof so brown--
Up in the air I go flying again,
Up in the air and down!

This was my favourite poem as a young child. My book is from 1949 and is tattered and torn also.

Bear((( )))

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Bear - THAT'S IT! And I will bet you anything we have the same version of the book. My mother was born in 1941, so 1949 puts it at just the right time for her to be reading it.

Thank you so much. I LOVE that poem, and I truly love that book.

Every one who has no idea what we're talking about...go to bear naked's site and learn more.