The Demise of Gwynn's Island: Part II

Above is a view from my back yard after a recent storm. Below is the continuation of Mathews Mountain Man's view of how Gwynn's Island is doomed. Surprisingly, none of his theories make mention of ants, which are destined to play a starring role in the final chapter of my house on Queens Creek.

Now, without further babbling about ants ado....


Gwynn’s Island: The Final Chapter
Scenario II
by Mathews Mountain Man

"Some insist that climate change is due only to natural causes, while others believe that the excessive burning of fossil fuels and the continuing release of atmospheric contaminates are beckoning an Old Testament inspired inferno. Some even argue that man-made global warming added significant heat energy to Hurricane Katrina and her siblings, thus increasing the damage to the off-shore oil platforms and refineries responsible for the fossil-fuel derived heat energy in the first place (don’t mess with Mother Nature). A few fundamentalist folks might even agree that internal combustion is Hell fire. Many, however, think that climate change is attributable to both natural and human influence and they respectfully urge that we act more responsibly.

Despite what anyone thinks about the cause, a year-to-year net temperature increase in the earth’s atmosphere (i.e., global warming) is undoubtedly causing ocean water levels to rise. Two major sources include the addition of water to the oceans from glacial ice melt and the expansion of water volume due to increasing ocean temperatures.

Okay, but what does all this mumbo-jumbo mean for Gwynn’s Island? It likely means that Gwynn’s Island is doomed – one way or another.

Consider the following:

- According to Al “I won the Nobel Prize for inventing global warming” Gore’s data, sea-level will rise about 18 inches every 100 years, or 0.18 inches per year.

- And, according to a USGS topographical map dated 2006, the highest point on Gwynn’s Island is 10 feet or 120 inches above sea level (in a tree maybe).

- So, 120 inches divided by 0.18 inches per year equals…

- Holy Gustav and guano… 120 inches/0.18 inches per year = 666 years (without rounding)

That’s an Old Testament number manifest as unrelenting wrath in the form of locust, frogs and, yes, floods. And, with a little Michener-like wave action, Gwynn’s Island is likely to completely disappear on or before 2525 – a Zager and Evans like prediction. If you doubt that these musical one-trick-ponies were on to something, consider this: the Zager and Evan’s song “Exordium and Terminus,” commonly known as “In the year 2525”, was number 1 on the Billboard charts commencing 6 days after the 6th day of the 6th month in 1969. Go ahead, invert those 9’s. And, their song was number 1 for 6 weeks.

Suddenly, New Point Comfort (i.e., light house) is looking like the Statue of Liberty as seen by the humans, Taylor and Nova, in Planet of the Apes - think about that the next time you’re riding a horse along the beach.

Seriously, though, (I get wacky when I start crunching numbers) global warming is a threat, particularly to those who own homes along the Milford Haven side of the Island. The land on that side of the Island is barely above sea-level. As the Bay water’s rise those homeowners will be among the first to step out of their house and into the muck."


And now back to Chesapeake Bay Woman, who has nothing important this to say:

Indeed, much of Mathews County is hardly above sea level, and one could argue successfully that parts are below sea level. One good Nor'Easter and I practically have to take a canoe from my house to the car--and we live on what might be considered high ground. (That's because my house is perched right on top of an ant hill the size of Kilimanjaro.)

Stay tuned for the conclusion of Gwynn's Island's Demise, coming tomorrow to a computer screen near you.