Baby Bird

If you look closely, you'll see a baby blue jay I photographed the other morning when it was so misty you couldn't even see the creek, ordinarily visible in the background.

'Tis the season for fledglings to leave the nest, even in the human species. 'Tis also the season for misadventures in Chesapeake Bay Family Land. Truth be told, every day is the season for misadventures in Chesapeake Bay Family Land.

Once upon a time, Chesapeake Bay Woman's Baby Sister and Friend came for a visit and had dinner with the entire Chesapeake Bay Family.

As the party took a seat at the table, Chesapeake Bay Mother noticed a crescendo in the squawking coming from the local bird population. Before you could say, "Why does anyone ever think we can have a normal anything dinner around here?" a killer cat emerged from the shrubbery with a bird ensconced in his mouth.

Chesapeake Bay Mother dashed outside screaming for the cat to loosen his hold on the bird. Chesapeake Bay Woman, more concerned for her mother than for the unfortunate bird, dashed behind her. As the guests were raising forks to their mouths, CB Mother and CB Woman hollered, stomped, flailed arms and swirled around in circles trying to frighten the cat into letting go.

The dinner guests--the only ones truly frightened--were seated in the kitchen overlooking the entire nightmare scene unfolding.

Just as they paused with mouths agape, forks halted midway up, this happened:

Chesapeake Bay Mother chased the cat under the deck, wedging her upper body as far as possible through a small hole which allowed limited access.

CBW looked on in horror as her 68-year-old mother became stuck, head and arms under the deck, legs and feet outside the deck. If she were sliding into home plate, her form would have been perfect. But this is way beside the point.

CBW heard her mother moaning in pain, pausing only to holler further instructions for the cat to drop that bird. Or else!

Having flashbacks to episodes involving screaming of the words, "Or else!" and in all the stress of the shituation, CBW could not ascertain if her mother needed to be pushed or pulled, so--always aiming to please--she did both.

Yadda yadda yadda, CBW and CB Mother did an imitation of a human wheelbarrow. Next we performed a reenactment from the episode where Winnie the Pooh gets stuck in the hole after eating too much honey. Except there was no honey, and Pooh was 68 years old and Rabbit had guests over for dinner watching the whole dreadful nightmare scene unfold.

When all was said and done, regrettably the bird died in spite of Chesapeake Bay Mother's valiant efforts. The cat still doesn't know what on Earth he witnessed. Chesapeake Bay Mother declared to all--including Baby Sister's dinner guest--that she nearly killed herself, which caused Chesapeake Bay Son to burst into hysterics because that's how seriously we take these sorts of declarations.

Chesapeake Bay Woman as usual stood quietly in the background, satisfied that she had done her part to ensure that Chesapeake Bay Mother had not killed herself.

Baby Sister's Friend ran screaming into the night will never come back to visit again.

The End.