Snakes

This is a rather oddly composed picture of my mother's roses which grow near her pump house. The creek is barely visible in the background. My parents' yard is like a Chuck E Cheese for wildlife. Groundhogs frolic on wood piles in between nibbles of tomatoes and corn from the garden; rabbits bounce effortlessly from clover patches to blackberry bushes; black snakes drop from the apple trees and....Yes. I said the word "snake."

Many people are mortally afraid of spiders and snakes. "I don't like spiders and snakes, but that ain't what it takes to love me." Sorry, the voices in my head are trying to push me off on a tangent. Hold still while I gently elbow my way back on course.

There. That's better.

Anyway, while most people are afraid of snakes, I really never have been. Or rather, I can co-exist peacefully with them as long as they keep their distance. (Note: this same theory does NOT apply to ants, moths, fiddler crabs, ants, moths, fiddler crabs, and also ants.) The only exception would be water moccasins, and that's another story for another day. My point is the other yard snakes --black snakes, green snakes--don't really cause me much concern. They keep the rodent population from exceeding the ant population and pretty much stick to themselves.

Pretty much.

Here lately, the Chesapeake Bay Family has had three brushes with death close encounters of the snake kind in about a two-week period. First, CB Daughter was retrieving something from under a pine tree, and a black snake almost landed on her head. Right out of the tree! My version of the story actually has the snake dropping out of the tree, landing around her neck and turning into a boa constrictor, but that's because I'm overly stressed and tend to be paranoid worry too much.

Next, I was cutting grass because that's all I do from March to November besides wage war on ants, laundry and dirty dishes and as I was grazing a cedar tree, a black snake coiled up and started hissing and spitting. He must have been six feet long if he was an inch. Later that day I saw another snake right next to the swing set.This one was black but with silver or white on its rather large belly.

Therefore, I feel compelled to declare a snake infestation.

Today at my paying job, I was blinking back tears at the tedium pondering this topic, and in about three minutes I scribbled down inane nonsense an ode to the snake, a brief poem about my feelings and these experiences.

To keep today's post mercifully brief, I will share that little ditty with you tomorrow. Heavens, please don't get your hopes up, it's awful. Bring a pillow so you can take a five minute cat nap.

Snakes. Like 'em, tolerate 'em or love 'em? Do you have a snake story? Do you know how to contact Jack Hannah so he can come tame these wild beasts living in our midst?

p.s. Dear Blog Fest Guests: Do not be afraid. We will keep you safe from snakes, fiddler crabs, ground hogs and osprey. I cannot make any promises about Gustav the Killer Goose or psychological damage caused by exposure to high concentrations of dysfunction and ants during your stay. We'll do the best we can and look forward to your arrival. Love, CBW