Car Wash

My daughter has documented our first ever latest attempt at washing my car. Have I mentioned that I barely wash dishes, much less a vehicle? May I also state for the record that Mathews has no car wash unless you count the teenagers on Hyco Corner trying to raise money for the trip to they don't care where as long as no parents are chaperoning Pennsylvania Dutch Country?

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The Car Wash
May 30, 2009
By Chesapeake Bay Daughter

CBW finally decides she wants to wash her car. She says that it has literally been years since she washed it last.

Here is how CBW washes her car, step by step.

1. Go in dungeon garage and look for a bucket and car wash supplies.

2. CBW doesn't have the patience to untangle the hose, so yank on it 'til it hits something, then go to see what's wrong.*

3. Turn on hose (that isn't screwed on all the way so water is spitting out).

4. Rinse off one section of car. (Do this repeatedly until finished.)

5. Apply soap 'til CBW says, "Close enough."**

6. Dry off car with rag found in the dungeon.

7. Get Windex and clean the windows.

8. Hallelujah! It's over.

The End.

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Some Extraneous Commentary Words from Chesapeake Bay Woman

* Surely garden hoses were invented by the devil himself. If they aren't lying in wait for you to run over them with the tractor, they are twisting themselves up so that no water can pass through. Then when you finally manage to unravel the disaster, the water spews forth so strongly that neighbors start convening because they've heard tell that Old Faithful has relocated to Mathews County and is erupting in your yard.

** Due to my absolute lack of even one shred of patience desire to have things done and over with in the most expeditious manner possible, I often use the phrase "Close enough" to declare that indeed whatever it is I'm working on is officially done whether it is or not.

For example, if I am boiling potatoes with the intention of mashing them, and I cross my arms and tap my foot for more than a minute, time's up and we're mashing those potatoes even if they're still crunchy. When Chesapeake Bay Children remark that these are the crunchiest mashed potatoes they've ever eaten and they ask if you cooked the potatoes fully, the proper Chesapeake Bay Woman response is, "Close enough."

Now, exactly what mashing potatoes has to do with washing a car may be unclear to the normal average individual, but here in Chesapeake Bay Land though they may appear to be distinct and disparate activities, in fact they are closely linked. Or they are linked somehow.

Close enough.