Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Middle Sister

Today is Middle Sister's birthday, she turns 52. Ha! Just kidding, and I'm probably the only one who laughed at that. (I'm used to it.) The better part of my life was spent making fun of Middle Sister because, well, she's the middle sister and here's how my job description reads in the Manual of Sibling Rivalry, Chapter One, page 2, paragraph 7:

Oldest Sister
  • Knows more than any/all younger siblings
  • Is responsible for bossing younger siblings around
  • Makes self laugh incessantly by making fun of younger siblings, particularly the one in the middle.

See? It's written there in plain English. I'm nothing if not obedient and compliant with the laws of life and Nature.

But on her birthday I'll go ahead and say a few nice things about her. Let's begin:

  • She lives in Georgia and comes home twice a year because she can't stand to be around us.
  • She got married in Hawaii to ensure none of her family members could attend.
  • Both of the above statements are likely due to her Older Sister's incessant torture and teasing. Obviously she didn't read the manual, though, otherwise she'd know I was supposed to.

Bear with me, this is such a struggle. OK, so the above was not nice either. Let me try again, here goes:

  • Middle Sister was easily the smartest of the three Chesapeake Bay Sisters, and if Baby Sister disputes that, I'll eat my cat. And my hat. (See how I can sneak a dig in at Baby Sister too?)

  • She was so brilliant she skipped a grade, however let it be known that we played school a lot, and guess who was the teacher? That's right, moi. Moving on...

  • She's such an outgoing talker, our mother says she was vaccinated with a phonograph needle. (HAAAA!!!! Not nice. Not at all. But seriously, she could talk the legs off an iron pot and would put on shows, dance and sing. The girl needed to distinguish herself, and oh did she ever.) A more positive way to state this is she was also known as Personality Plus. (Who was vaccinated with a phonograph needle.)

OK. I'll stop teasing now. Happy Birthday, Chesapeake Bay Middle Sister.

As a token of my affection, I'd like to repost one of my favorite Middle Sister stories of all time, where we were going across country on the Family Vacation That Would Never End, trapped in a VW bus loaded with a port-a-potty, our parents, and no such thing as entertainment other than our imagination and each other.

We had to make a pit stop and let's just say you came out with more than you walked in with. For those who have not read the story, click here for the link. Even if you have read it, please take a look again. You can't make this stuff up, folks, it's a good one. Now excuse me while I try to stop snickering. This really is not nice, especially on her birthday.



Maria from Nj said...

Happy 30/40/50th or 60th Birthday Middle Sister! Enjoy your day.

Asthmagirl said...

Happy Birthday Middle Sister! How fun that there were three of you to rough up, tease and play jokes on!

Country Girl said...

Which sister did we meet on the beach last week? Was that your youngest sister?
Happy birthday to Middle CBW!
And it's funny because I just read that story, catching up on your blog. Good reading.

Mental P Mama said...

Happy Birthday Middle Sis! Qwah!

Living on the Spit said...

Happy Birthday Middle Sister. Hope you have a great day!

Caution Flag said...

Happy bday, sis. Hope it's nicer to you than CBW is.

Annie said...

Happy Birthday Middle Sister. Presume you have learned to ignore older sister by now!

love the photo as usual.

big hair envy said...

Happy Birthday, Middle Sis!! I have a Middle Sis as well. She feels your pain.

Daryl said...

As someone who is an older sister I empathize with you ... as someone who was also 'accused' of being vaccinated with a phonograph needle, I empathize with Middle Sis ... and I am now thinking I need to find me a middle sister or maybe a younger than younger sister sister .. or not.....maybe just another cat.

Happy Birthday Middle Sis ...

Anonymous said...

Ha, ha! I think that as a child I had "sugar sensitivity" and since all I wanted to eat was ice cream.....well, you get the picture. That's where the personality plus came from. As I've grown older, I quit eating sugar and have come to realize that not everyone really wants to see my shows...the dancing, the off-key singing, the interviewing others with a British accent. Of course, a little wine-one-one puts me back in the spotlight on occasion.

Thanks for all of the birthday wishes!

Middle Sis

TSannie said...

Happy day little sis! O the pain we oldest siblings can inflict...not apologizing!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

From one MS to another Happy Birthday MS!!

Audrey at Barking Mad said...

Happy Happiest Birthday Middle Sister...whichever one it might be.

And this post is further proof of EXACTLY why my sisters and I live on opposite coasts.

mom x 2 said...

Happy Birthday Middle Sis!!

I am assuming after how ever many birthdays you have had, you have learned to ignore Oldest Sister making fun of you, or perhaps you have learned a great deal from her and applied that knowledge to your younger sister?

Hope it is a GREAT ONE!!!

Anonymous said...

awww, middle sis, I recall many enjoyable shows. especially the one we put on for CBW on her birthday. HAHAHA

Don't every stop being that personality plus character that we all know and love. Happy Birthday!!!!


foolery said...

Big fat sloppy loves on your birthday, Middle Sis! You look GREAT for 65! Not so great for 52 . . .

ha ha ha ha ha

Just like CBW I am a first born (looking at it one way -- long story) and as such have honed my craft at teasing siblings. I am also obnoxious, which it sounds like she was as a child -- playing TEACHER?! Come on!

Wait, where was I going with this? Um . . . oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Grandma J said...

BWAAA! I can't control my laughter on this one...being the oldest of four girls.
I must say the first in line at the gene buffet gets first pick.

Happy Birthday middle sis! You are loved and you were missed at blogfest.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Middle Sis! I called you, but you didn't pick up...anyway, I would never dispute anyone who says that you two are smarter than me, because there's no point! As CBM says, I chose to walk " off the beaten path", in other words, I have no common sense..I think I've been referred to also as " dead from the neck up"?? Maybe that was somebody else.. Hope this brings you joy and peace on your birthday!
Baby Sis

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Middle Sister was not at Blog Fest because she was too busy with her post-nuptial activities...The Blog Fester was Baby Sister, who is NOT dead from the neck up, although I have heard that phrase tossed about in this family often amont a few other choice monikers.

Middle Sis, I do think sugar may have played a large role in your Personality Plus, and the British accent you did was hilarious. You just loved saying BLIMEY ME instead of just blimey-you cracked yourself up with that one.

You were really very entertaining just not while we were driving umpteen thousand miles across country with the very same people you live with 24/7, two of whom are parents and two of whom are younger sisters.

It's a wonder we made it back alive from that harrowing month-long journey.

Blimey me.

Anonymous said...

Baby Sis