Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Point of Zero (re)Turn

This is my father on his zero turn lawn mower.
And that's Queens Creek.

One recent evening, my father dropped in and asked me to meet him down at his dock next door.  There was something over there I needed to take pictures of, he said.  Grabbing my camera, I sprinted ahead of him across the yard to the dock to see what it was.

He puttered behind on his zero turn lawn mower.

On my way, I determined the pictures wouldn't be great, no matter the topic, due to the low level of light.

The sun had already said, "See you tomorrow."

Then, upon arriving at his dock, I realized there was nothing there to even photograph.


Over the dull roar of the mower parked just near the dock, he hollered, "Do you wanna see how to test if your dock is well-built?"

Thinking I heard him incorrectly, I simultaneously shook my head and hollered, "What?"

"Do you want me to show the best way to see if your dock is well built?"

"Ummmmmm.  Ohhhkaaaayyy?"

Then this commenced to happenin'.

"Good Lawd Clawd," CBW managed to utter.

At this point CBW, barely able to hold the camera,
may have uttered something that rhymes with, "CHEESE AND RICE!!"

Breathing a sigh of relief, CBW took a second to reflect on things,
such as her father's entire life, which was flashing in front of his her eyes.

Dearest Queens Creek Neighbors Across the Creek,  the entertainment here is free of charge.
No Reality TV necessary.  In fact, Reality TV wouldn't even believe what goes on here, would they?

CheeseUs Rice.

A picture of the actual zero turn mower performing its zero turn
could not be captured.  This is a survival skill I learned a long time ago.
Block out all images.

One more turn to successfully negotiate and then
CBW may have uttered the rare, "Jeemny Christmas."

"Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride until it comes to a complete stop."
I had flashbacks of all sorts including the days I worked at Busch Gardens.
Evidently my life was flashing in front of my eyes as well.

We love him even if he does scare us to death sometimes.

The End.

p.s. Click here to read my mother's account of last week's vacation.  The episode about her foray into the water is accurate and one which I will never forget.  

I am most pleased to report that both my father and my mother are still alive and uninjured kickin'. In spite of themselves everything.


Anonymous said...

your dad kicks ass. The End.

Country Girl said...

Read the whole thing with my eyes bugging outa my head. Holy moly!

growing wild on waverly lane said...

Tell them about the time the big tractor (Farmall) rolled over with him on the creek bank and he lived. The tractor wound up upside down in Queen's Creek. I can't believe he did this and am glad he hadn't gotten into the Jim Beam beforehand.

Jamie said...

The instant I saw the first picture I knew what he was going to do. Probably because long ago, it would have been something I would have thought of doing (thought, mind you, not actually crazy enough to do it).

Anonymous said...

Cheese and rice indeed! Oh my I love your family, such zest, such insanity, such fun!


Daryl said...

HYSTERICAL .. I swear to Cheese&Rice you need to call someone in Hollyweird and get them to Mathews ..

deborah said...

Bravo! to your dad!
Glad that he asked you to watch and gather photographic evidence that your family loves to have fun!
Oh, wonder how many times he did that before he called you?

Dghawk said...

Had I been you and that was my Dad, I wouldn't have gotten ANY
pictures! I probably would have thrown the camera in the creek while jumping up and down with my fists clenched yelling every expletive I could think of loud enough for your neighbors across the creek to hear.

Too bad you couldn't get the whole thing on video. That would be awesome on Youtube.

Like they say."The only difference between the men and the boys is the size of their feet and the price of their toys."

Your family is totally wonderful.

abb said...

Well, that's one more thing survived intact! Thank God!

Anonymous said...

Omg toooooo funny. What a many years ago (really not that long ago......surely we aren't that old yet) it was us children giving our parents a heart attack with our adventures!