Sunday, March 2, 2008

Introduction to Dysfunction Junction

As if living in Mathews weren't challenging enough, my family makes things even more, shall we say, interesting.

Out here in the country, it's easy for Eccentrics to hide out. Right next door live my parents. Now, I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but there's some real Issues going on over there.

For example, let's take tonight. I invited them over here for some shrimp and snacks around 5:00 so they could sit, talk and spend time with us and their grandchildren. They don't get out much, so I try to do what I can to make nice family memories. I made some jumbo shrimp, some vegetables and dip, lit some candles, tried to make everything nice, and waited for them to arrive.

Daddy arrived first and announced that Mumma had lost one of her cats. One of her 420 killer cats. So she was distraught and searching all over the yard for this one cat. One of 420. Anyway, she finally showed up. They sat down, Daddy had some shrimp and tried to make casual conversation with Husband and Children. Mumma stared off into space and didn't eat. She was wringing her hands and asking if anyone had seen this cat. Then she got up and left. And never came back. She didn't announce she was leaving, she just left and never came back.

Daddy left soon thereafter. My attempt at a nice Sunday familiy gathering was officially over.

Later on, the phone rang. Mumma had found 1 of 420 asleep. On a couch. Inside the house. Under a blanket. So it was never missing in the first place. The only thing missing was the FAMILY portion of The Family Gathering.

Welcome to Dysfunction Junction.

No comments: