Tuesday, March 4, 2008

My Technical Disability

I am technically disabled. A techno-idiot. I still use dial-up for internet access. I get stressed out when I am on the phone and hear a beep indicating call waiting. I NEVER answer call waiting. It scares me. It's evil.

My wonderful husband gave me a digital camera and a videocamera for Christmas. He also gave me a photo printer for my birthday. These things scare me. Worse than the call waiting.

In theory this blog should be loaded with photos of Mathews, of our life here, of all the beautiful scenery, and all the lively characters I will write about. But it ain't. 'Cause I'm 'fllicted. I have NO IDEA how to use any of this stuff.

The manuals that come with these gadgets are written in German, French, Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese, with only a hint of English thrown in. For example, in the Getting Started section on my camera it says: "Locate the farfegnuegen sprocketzee blockenschpiel and then insert buenos noches in slot ^@klsfd. You should now be ready to take all the pictures your heart desires."

My blood pressure soars just reading these instructions. And I can never find the farfegneugen sprocketzee and nevermind the slot ^@klsfd. I swear when I was trying just to hook the STRAP onto the camera I started crying. And sweating profusely. My head spun around several times and my face turned green.

Thankfully, I do have a son who understands this stuff. He doesn't even have to read the directions! He just figures it all out. So, until I can get him to teach me how to upload pictures, or download pictures, or whatever one does to get pictures on a blog, I will be Pictureless. And Clueless. With no sprocketzee inserted into anything, much less slot ^klsfd.


Anonymous said...

Love your blog, sister. Nowhere do you you mention the great state of Vagina, which is where Mathews County resides. I guess anonymity makes it more mysterious. Mathews, Hawaii? Drop me off at the gate near that big palm tree, please, and I'll toss you a coconut. Write on, baby.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Welcome, Kaffy! Yes, I purposely left out the state although it is easily figured out: It's the State of Confusion.