Friday, March 21, 2008

The Clothes Line

When I was about 12, I rode my bike directly into the path of a clothes line and burned a stripe across my nose which lasted for at least 2 years’ worth of school pictures. Yesterday, my 12-year-old son ran directly into a rusted, wire clothes line, and when all was said and done he emerged bloody and stunned. How do these things happen?

Instead of tackling that Ponderable, let’s take a pop quiz:

1. Why do we use clothes lines when we live in a civilized society in which most homes now have electric dryers and other modern amenities?

a) We live in Mathews County. The End.
b) To show that we are only one step away from reverting to using outhouses.
c) To display our granny-style underwear to the neighbors, to the entire country and to God.
d) To provide a perch for birds to “do their business” (the likelihood of which increases if there is clean laundry on the line).
e) To ensure rain for the entire duration of time the laundry is hanging on the line;
f) To ensnarl helpless children who are walking or bicycling by, rendering them bloodied, helpless, and scarred for life.
g) To ensnarl grown adults who are trying to maneuver a riding lawn mower around flapping sheets and aforementioned granny style underwear.
h) All of these and more, but especially (a).

In short, if you are fortunate enough NOT to live in an area where clothes lines are popular, thank your lucky stars.

And send me your address: I’ve got to get out of here.


Anonymous said...

Using a clothes line would imply that some actual clothes washing is being done? Then bravo to you. Venture into my bedroom if you dare and see Mt. Clothes in all of its filthy glory. It is beyond comprehension how one 12-year-old boy and one 49-year-old man could stink up so many pairs of socks. They are scattered everywhere, as well as being one of our labradoodle's culinary delights, along with goose sh**t, or goose poopay as we call it.
I'm so glad that your boy wonderful is AOK after his little mishap and that his dimples are intact.

tj said...

...Happy to hear the lad is fine - wow! I too have had a mishap with the clothesline while riding the riding mower - I don't know what's worse the actual injury or the injured ego! lol... :o) Ahh, but there's nothing like your skivies blowin' in the breeze! Ahem, on a clothesline of course... ;o)

...Happy Easter Miss Chesapeake Bay Woman! Many blessings to you and your family! :o)

Anonymous said...

I too have a clothesline. I punish myself even in cold weather to get those clothes on the line. I love the smell of my sheets when they have been on the clothesline. I guess that is another quirky thing about being a Mathews native. We are quite eccentric.