Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Seven Things-Part Two

This is a little bend in the road down Onemo. Onemo is pronounced "oh NEE moe" even though some people say that the name came about because they needed "one mo' " or "one more" post office. I have no idea who "some people" are, and it is quite possible that these people exist nowhere except inside my head. Another strong possibility is that I dreamed this, or made it up. But I could swear I read it somewhere......If anyone out there with any knowledge --or quasi-functioning brain cells-- could please clarify this, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Below is Part Two of the 7-Thing questionnaire (aka meme) completed by my mother.

Here's CBW's Mother:

Seven Things That Attract Me to the Opposite Sex
1. Sense of humor
2. Love of animals
3. Dedication to unselfish pursuits
4. Lack of self-absorption
5. Religious without religion
6. Empathy for women
7. Regard for all people of the world as relatives

Seven Things I Say Most Often
1. Coffee ready?
2. Husband, telephone, it's a Bubba.
3. Has anyone seen my glasses? ...my pocketbook?
4. I can't remember if I took my medication.
5. Husband, WAKE UP, you're on the:
a)...brink of falling over!
b)...interstate and driving!
c)...lawn mower wearing a straw hat!
(All of these are true.)
6. Before you go, check under the car for my kitties.
7. Who ate all the bread?

Seven Celebrity Admirations
1. Jane Goodall. She is all, St. Jane of Africa.
2. Margaret Mead, lady sociologist who gloried in Polynesian spontaneity.
3. Arnold Ziffle, the Green Acres precocious pig
4. Flipper, the swimming and smiling porpoise, whose great-grandpa coached Esther Williams.
5. Lassie: collie = love = dog genius.
6. Trigger, Blond, beautiful and carrying heart-throb Roy Rogers.
7. Every chimpanzee to wear clothes, and there were many.

Seven Favorite Foods
1. Oysters, stewed or fried
2. Steamed crabs
3. Mashed potatoes and gravy
4. Fish, fried or boiled
5. Virginia Spoon Bread (made with cornmeal)
6. All vegetables
7. All fruit
I just gained 10 pounds writing that list!

- Chesapeake Bay Woman's Mother
Chesapeake Bay Woman's Notes and Additions
I don't have much to add, except I think it is noteworthy that there are only two humans listed in the celebrity category, and no men (unless you count Roy Rogers, although she was really talking about Trigger, the horse); all the rest are animals. This speaks volumes, particularly if you know my mother, which most of you don't. Just trust me, it does.

Also? I can't name one clothes-wearing chimpanzee. I feel inadequate, but strangely this does not bother me.


Mental P Mama said...

Wasn't there a monkey in "I Dream of Jeannie" who wore clothes? No wait, it was Ellie May's monkey on "The Beverly Hillbillies." I think her name was Bessie. And spoon bread might be my favorite thing on the planet. I like all those animal crushes...might go some way in explaining all the infestations you have there....being such favorable conditions.

Anonymous said...

If you all could see / know my father, you'd realize that in her younger years, my mother had some additional items on her list (good looks) that she doesn't include in her sixties....

Middle Sis

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

mpm - I watched both of those shows but don't recall a monkey with clothes, although the mention of Ellie May caused my brain lights to flicker a bit, so maybe there was one.

Middle Sis - I thought the same thing. For sure looks and charm would be included if she did this in her 20's.

Anonymous said...

We used to have to do a kittie check under the cars before leaving the driveway, especially in winter. Sometimes they would crawl up underneath a still-warm car, and, well, let's just say, that's not a good place for a cat to fall asleep. AHEM.

That food list is makin' me hungry!

Anonymous said...

Maybe your mom was referring to the show "Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp." The cast was a bunch of monkeys, literally, and they wore different outfits every week. I used to watch it after my Saturday morning ballet class. Anyone remember THAT one??

Anonymous said...

We still do a kittie check under the cars before we leave to go anywhere. Oh and a puppy check because Creepy Whistling Dude never keeps the beagle puppy he got for his spawn, in his own yard. More than once we've found him under our cars, napping.

Lovin' the lists!

Bear Naked said...

I can't get over the fact that CBMother admires Arnold Ziffle.

Bear((( )))

Unknown said...

Ok, I'm late....son's internet was down.

I don't have time to read the other comments first, so if I'm a bit redundant, forgive me because very few of my thoughts are original.

That being said...please as your CBM if she forgot to mention SEX as one thing that attracts her to the opposite sex.
Also, tell her that she will never ever gain ten pounds eating that list of food. I mean where is the ice cream, cookies, candy and beer? Of course if she drank a vat of gravy she might gain five pounds.

I love the fact that animals are her favorite celebrities. :))

Unknown said...

oh I forgot, Michael Jackson had a monkey that dressed kind of funky. I think there was a monkey astronaut too. I hope he didn't go into space naked.

Anonymous said...

I would guess that your mom just might be referring to J Fred Muggs of Today Show fame...just guessing but I'm thinking she was not a Speed Racer fan (Chim Chim)....

anonymous Hallieford resident mom of 3 girls and one soccer playing boy!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Well, well, well! Anonymous Hallieford Mom finally speaks. (Actually you spoke once before....) You neglected to mention that you are mother to three GORGEOUS, SMART AND ATHLETICALLY TALENTED (a special combination of gifts) girls and a dashing young boy. Oh, if only I were in first grade again, I'd be chasing him relentlessly.

GJ - I just went to a doubleheader soccer game with my mother, and I mentioned that she didn't even talk about looks or things along those lines when speaking of attraction. She said that while looks might have been important when she was young, now it is immaterial, and I have to go so far as to say that the rest that goes along with all that is immaterial too. (To her, not me, please don't get us confused.)

Soup and Auds - you wouldn't believe it around here - it's like she has OCD or something. You can't even look at a car without her saying, "watch out for my kitties! Don't drive over my cats!"

bn - Tonight I told her what you said and she said, "Well sure. Of course. That pig was great and he never got any credit."

BHE - When I told my mother I could not remember any clothes-wearing monkeys, she mentioned the exact show you're referencing. I seem to have blocked that one out of my mind, and I am sure there is a reason....which I've also blocked out.

Have a great evening, everyone. It's cold here tonight and we have a nor-easter coming in. This translates into many things, not the least of which is high winds, lots of torrential rain, and one SINKING BOAT. All this will be occuring on the day I have to go to work 55 miles away. Can't wait to come home tomorrow night!

Unknown said...

Awwwwwwwwww. Love this! LOVE mashed potatoes for sure : ). I loved Flipper and Lassie! AND, any movie with a monkey that wears clothes is VERY COOL and totally my favorite thing : ). Thank you for sharing Chesepeake Bay Mother!

foolery said...

CBMother forgot as one of her attractions to the opposite sex "tolerance of a skunky smell." Because it sounds like it would be mandatory. :)

You folks are really in for a blow today, I hear -- hope you all stay safe.